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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27769498">At Night I Think Of You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notyourtypicalmermaid/pseuds/Notyourtypicalmermaid'>Notyourtypicalmermaid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Free!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward Conversations, Childhood Friends, Crying, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Heartache, Heartbreak, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:07:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,461</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27769498</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notyourtypicalmermaid/pseuds/Notyourtypicalmermaid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I wish I didn't love him." Ikuya whispered, still sniffing.  Hiyori's hand stilled for a second before resuming his strokes on his back.<br/>----<br/>Ikuya finally acknowledges the feelings he has for Haru.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kirishima Ikuya/Nanase Haruka, Kirishima Ikuya/Tono Hiyori</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>At Night I Think Of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Reconnecting with his middle school friends was really a blessing in disguise, Ikuya thought. It'd been a few weeks since he rejoined with his old Iwatobi classmates and it felt like nothing had changed. He saw Haru, Makoto, Kisumi, and even Asahi regularly now and he was embarrassingly happy to spend time with them. The last few years felt like a blur of awkward growing pains that he is now just starting to grow out of. </p><p>It had been a long day and he was exhausted from today's practice. He sighed a hum of relief when he made it back to his dorm room. "I'm home," He whispered to the empty room as he peeled off his shoes. He felt a slight tinge of loneliness, but couldn't name its source. He spent all day either being in class or near his teammates so it was a confusing feeling. Granted, he could always call Hiyori, who would check up on him if he asked, but tonight... that didn't feel quite right. He depended on Hiyori way than he should or deserved anyway. </p><p>After their fight, things had been a little awkward at first, but Hiyori didn't seem to be going anywhere and Ikuya was grateful; selfish but grateful. He tried being more open and less moody but old habits are hard to break.</p><p>After a quick dinner, he undressed and laid down on his bed, savoring the stillness of his room and listening to the quiet hum of cicadas outside. His lights were off but he knew he wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon. In moments like this, he often thought of one person, someone he always admired but was too afraid to really reach out to before. </p><p>
  <i> Haru. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Ikuya closed his eyes, recapping how it felt to swim next to him. The way Haru cut through the water like a sharp knife, leaving everyone in its wake. How blue his eyes were and how he slightly smiled at him when the race was over. The way it felt when he hugged him. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>"Fuck," Ikuya swore, feeling a familiar thrum in his abdomen. He groaned into his pillow, remembering Haru's voice and the way the water cascaded down his shoulders when he got out of the pool. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>"Not again," Ikuya whined, rutting his pillow softly. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
 
      <i> I thought I grew out of this. 
    </i>

</p><p>

 His hand slowly eased into his shorts. He always felt guilty when he did this but not enough to stop. He was attracted to Haru, maybe he had <i> always <i> been attracted to Haru but couldn't put a name to it before. It was easier to ignore when he wasn't in his life, but now he saw him every week, in and out of the water, driving him crazy with desire. And his thoughts weren't just sexual either, he just wanted to spend time with Haru, pick his brain and learn what makes him tick. He also wanted to be close to him in more ways than one if the other man let him.</i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p> He stroked his length faster, fantasizing what it'd be like to touch Haru's skin and feel his firm body on top of his. He had this fantasy many times before, Haru kissing him touching him, wanting him enough to do something about it. </p><p>He wanted Haru's normally passive expression to be glowing with passion when he was with Ikuya, praising him in all the ways Hiyori did.</p><p>
  <i> "You're extraordinary..."</i>
</p><p>
  <i> "You're swimming inspires me..."</i>
</p><p>
  <i> "I always want to swim next to you..."</i>
</p><p>Hiyori's words came to mind but he imagined Haru saying those things instead, but low and directly in his ear. He knew he was crossing the line with both men and while
it made him feel guilty, it also made him harder so he picked up the pace. He hated himself for this but was too far gone to stop.  </p><p>
He imagined Haru staring at him while he jerked himself off, encouraging him, wrecked as all hell. Ikuya burned from the humiliation of it all.  
</p><p><i> One more time. Just one more time, then I'll stop for good. </i>
</p><p> "Haru, Haru, Haru!" Ikuya whispered desperately. </p><p>   He kept chanting his name until he came.  </p><p>---<br/>
Ikuya was exhausted the next day and felt particularly guilt-ridden when saw Hiyori at morning practice. </p><p> Hiyori was his best friend, someone who was always attentive, kind, and loving - who had been by his side for years. He had his flaws but if Ikuya said the word, he was certain Hiyori would drop everything to be with him. It was not something he was proud to admit but he needed Hiyori as a friend and doing anything more would surely ruin it. Deep down he was certain of this but was never brave enough to have that conversation. He was just too stuck on Haru to give his <i>anything </i> to Hiyori. Even in those tense moments when Hiyori looked at him in longing. He wanted to say:   </p><p>
  <i> Don't wait for me. </i>
</p><p>
 "Good morning, Ikuya. " Hiyori greeted cheerfully. He was always cheerful. Ikuya wondered where he got it from. "Did you eat breakfast?" They were on the bus and Ikuya moved his bag as Hiyori sat down next to him. 
  
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Ikuya forced himself to smile back and make brief eye-contact. No need to make things weird, "Yes." Remembering to be more attentive. "Did you?" </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>"Yes, but barely. I spent all night finishing my essay for history that I almost overslept."</i>
  </i>
</p><p>Ikuya tried his best to listen but all he could think about Haru, wondering what he was doing or and who he was doing it with. If Haru was tired from swim practice like he was or if-</p><p>"Ikuya? Are you alright?" Hiyori asked worryingly. He looked amused but the tension in his jaw gave him away. </p><p>"What, yeah? Sorry, just tired."  He faced away from him, embarrassed to be caught daydreaming.</p><p>"You shouldn't-- nevermind." Hiyori chuckled.  "Just take care of yourself," Hiyori said awkwardly. He was trying to be less worried and controlling but he slipped up often. Ikuya smiled to himself, ready for this bus ride to be over.</p><p>He needed to do something about this obsession and soon.</p><p>---</p><p>It took 2 whole days for Ikuya to find the courage to text Haru properly. He drafted over 20 messages but settled for a simple:  </p><p>
  <i> "Hey, Haru. Are you free on Sunday? I wanted to talk to you." </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He prayed Haru was free and could read between the lines to not bring Makoto with him. He loved Makoto but if had to look at Makoto's innocent face for even a second, he would lose the little bit of courage he managed to build up. If he was going to confess, he had to do with Haru alone. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>2 hours later, he got a reply and it was as crisp and matter-of-fact as he expected:</p><p>

  <i> "Yes. At 4. Is that okay?" </i>
 
</p><p>
 Four o'clock was later than he wanted, he'd be full of nerves and probably sick to his stomach with anxiety but what choice did he have?
</p><p>
  <i>"Yep! See you then." </i>

</p><p>---</p><p>Ikuya spent an embarrassingly amount of time getting dressed on Sunday. It was only 2 o'clock and he had over an hour before he would have to leave. He couldn't stop pacing around his room, straightening his clothes or his hair. He settled for simple colors; a white T-shirt and his favorite black jeans. He looked nice but hoped like he wasn't trying too hard. </p><p>Haru was observant and would immediately be confused or suspicious if he saw Ikuya all dressed up. He wouldn't say anything about it probably, but he didn't want to throw him off if he lost his courage to confess. He had no expectations of how this is going to go and he wanted to look as less foolish as possible.</p><p>They agreed to meet at the park between their schools. Fortunately, it was a sunny day and the weather was tolerable for a Japanese summer. It wasn't too crowded and he could see a few flowers blooming on his path. There was a bench available by the pond and Ikuya practically rushed over there to grab it. He was still early, 30 minutes so but he needed the extra time to rehearse what he wanted to say. He wanted to sound cool and collected like his crush wasn't a big deal and that if Haru said no it wouldn't completely crush his spirit (which was half true- he could handle the rejection).  </p><p>He had to have been pondering for twenty minutes before he saw sight of Haru. Haru hadn't seen him yet so Ikuya could observe without feeling like a fanboy. He was wearing a ball cap and a V-shirt shirt with shorts. He looked like a normal college student on a lazy Sunday but still, Ikuya's mouth grew dry at the sight.  Damn, he had it bad.</p><p>Soon, Haru saw him and strolled casually into his space. He was small but his presence was elephantine. Whenever Haru came into a room or was just near, Ikuya felt aware of it. He loved it as much he hated it.</p><p>"Hey." said Haru.   </p><p>"Hey, Haru. How are you?" Ikuya felt his heart throbbing but he willed it into submission. All Haru said was hello, that shouldn't cause so much excitement. He said hi to people all the time and there was nothing special about his intonation today. He needed to calm down.</p><p>"I'm fine." He sat down on the bench, a considerable distance from Ikuya which he was grateful for. If he was any closer, he'd probably see how much he was sweating all of a sudden. "So, what's up?" </p><p>Leave it to Haru to skip the small talk. </p><p>"Yeah, uh, I just wanted to hang out with you." He tried to sound normal, but his treacherous voice squeaked towards to end. </p><p>Haru looked at him for a moment. "Okay," He agreed. </p><p>"Uh, how's school going?" He asked. If Haru thought that was a trivial question, he didn't show it. </p><p>"A little difficult. I just finished studying with Makoto for a test but it should be fine. You?" </p><p>"Same." </p><p>"You also finished studying with Makoto?" When Haru smiled, it was an incredibly small smile, but to Ikuya's trained eye, it was big and beautiful. </p><p>"No, but you'd be the first to know." He laughed.</p><p>They chatted for a while, a challenge since Haru is not good with small talk. He mostly gave one-word answers but he was listening and responding quickly to Ikuya's pathetic attempt to hold a conversation. He knew it was best to not beat around the bush, but being alone with Haru was too fun to pass up. If things changed between them after his confession, he at least wanted to hold onto this memory. This little pocket of time for the two of them. It was nowhere near as romantic as shooting stars or sitting by the pool at sunset, but he'd take this. This was all he had.</p><p>Eventually, the conversation fizzled out and Ikuya knew it was time to speak up. He couldn't think of a single thing to talk about except <i> that. <i>  He was practically shaking with anxiety but Haru was as calm as ever. He was staring at him, but it wasn't uncomfortable. He looked expectant and curious. </i></i></p><p>
  "Haru, um, there's a reason I called you out here." 
</p><p> "Yes." It wasn't a question but a clear agreement. He was too kind to rush him and while he probably had a thousand other things to do, he was waiting patiently for Ikuya to say whatever it was he drafted him out in a deserted park for.  "Is something wrong?"</p><p>"No!" He cringed at how loud his voice was, "Not at all. It's not bad." </p><p>"Okay." </p><p>"Haru," He opened his mouth to continue but the words escaped him. </p><p>"Take your time." </p><p>Ikuya smiled awkwardly, briefly wondering if Haru knew what he was going to say. If he had some kind of mind-reading capability or if he was just so transparent. He never talked about his crush on Haru with anyone but maybe everyone could see it like a glow stick that hadn't burned out yet.  </p><p>"I-, you see. Um, I've realized- No, wait, remember when I said...?" He groaned in frustration. This wasn't like how he practiced in his head. This wasn't smooth at all.</p><p>Any other person would have interrupted him by now but Haru patiently listened to him flounder. He felt mortified for stumbling over his words so much but he was just so nervous. He couldn't look in Haru's direction and wished he could be teleported to another world like in those anime Asahi watches.</p><p>"Ikuya, whatever it is, it's fine." Haru interjected. He didn't look upset which calmed Ikuya's nerves a little bit. He could do this. He took a big breath, closed his eyes before speaking.</p><p>"Haru, I've admired you for a long time. Your swimming, yes, but in other ways, too. How you're always there for your friends and calm in a crisis. How you get to the root of the matter and make the people around you feel special. You.... make me feel special. Like I could do anything. I never really thanked you for finding me last year. It really got me back into swimming."</p><p>"Ikuya.."</p><p>He turned to Haru then, using every muscle in his body to face him and confess:</p><p>"Haru,  I think I'm in love with you." He muttered, "Like romantically." Haru looked back at him in surprise, eyes widening slightly.  </p><p>
  <i> "Of course romantically. What kind of idiot am I? That was the worst confession ever!" </i>  Ikuya inwardly groaned, embarrassed to all hell. He wishes he could rewind the last few seconds but there it was. It was out there and he couldn't change it. 
</p><p>Haru was quiet for a while and Ikuya felt like the need to ramble. "I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend or anything, maybe go on date," he mumbled, "but above all, I want us to be friends."</p><p>"Ikuya, we'll always be friends." Haru said seriously, leaving a small pat on his shoulder. </p><p>"Oh, good." He laughed nervously almost hysterically. This was more awkward than he imagined and for the first time ever he wished Haru would say something to fill the silence. His heart was beating like crazy and he wanted to run around the park to just get rid of some of his nervous energy. Finally, he did speak:</p><p>"Ikuya, I'm sorry, but I don't have those kinds of feelings for you." He sounded sad and the last thing he wanted was to make Haru sad. "But thank you for telling me. You are brave."   </p><p>"Oh." He sure didn't feel brave. He felt like a damn fool.</p><p>"I'm really sorry." Haru patted his shoulder again, eyes downcast.</p><p>"No, it's okay. I'll be okay." His voice was high pitched but he could barely focus on anything but wanting to get out of there with some of his dignity intact.</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"Yes, of course! We're still friends right?" It felt like his heart split in two and he wanted to cry out in the unfairness of it all but he still needed Haru in his life, romantic feelings be damned. </p><p>"Always." Haru held out his pinky finger and Ikuya shakingly reciprocated.</p><p>---</p><p>Ikuya walked home in a daze, barely noticing his surroundings. Soon after the confession, Ikuya left with a hasty goodbye and a smile so wide and fake that he wondered if strangers onlooking would think he was crazy. He didn't get to see Haru's expression when he left but it didn't matter. As long as Haru couldn't see his pain, he could say that he walked away with some pride. And it was better than showing how he really felt. Heartbreak is an ugly look.</p><p> Ikuya thought he would feel relieved to get the truth off his chest, but instead, he felt like he was suffocating. His chest was tight and his body ached. He knew he was going to cry but he hoped it could wait until he got into his room where he could hide under his blanket and from the world for the rest of the weekend. </p><p>It could've taken him 5 minutes or 50 to get to his building but he wasn't sure and he didn't care. He was walking on autopilot and felt slightly better when he saw his building. He made it to his floor and got off the elevator but because he was having the worst day ever, he bumped into Hiyori, the one person he could  always see through him.</p><p>"Ikuya, hey! Woah, are you okay?" Hiyori said but the words didn't register.  </p><p>"I'm fine, excuse me." He pushed past Hiyori, speed walking to his room. That wasn't smooth at all and he panicked when he dropped his keys, anxious to get inside before Hiyori reached him.</p><p>"Let me help." Hiyori picked up the keys, swiftly unlocking his door. "There you are." He smiled slightly, worry creasing his forehead. "Are you sure you're okay? I was going to get something to eat if you're hungry. I could pick you something up."</p><p>"Hiyori, I'm fine." His voice was a lot rougher and meaner than he meant and Hiyori nearly jumped back as his tone. He felt guilty again. </p><p>"But-okay." He replied, turning away. "I'll go. Here are your keys."  </p><p>Ikuya glanced at him then, seeing the strain in his eyes. He wasn't hovering like he used to and the old Hiyori would've insisted on knowing what was bothering him or try cheering him up. He would've smiled with his eyes closed like nothing was bothering him. But this Hiyori, the new one who respected his space more, was... openly disappointed. </p><p>His eyes burned and he couldn't hold back his tears anymore. He sniffed, rubbing his face humiliated. Hiyori watched in anguish but didn't comment. He looked like he couldn't decide if he should leave or stay. </p><p>"I told Haru I loved him.  He rejected me." He said flatly. His mouth was ahead of his brain because a less frazzled version of himself wouldn't have dared mention this to Hiyori. But then again, he had no one else to tell. No one else knew how much Haru meant to him.</p><p>"Oh, Ikuya." Hiyori's eyes softened, sighing as he grabbed Ikuya's bag and hand before ushering them both inside his room. He was led to his couch like he didn't live there but, he was too wound up to complain. He dropped his body loudly on the cushion, curling up into the armrest.</p><p>He heard the door lock and Hiyori maneuver around his kitchen, probably making tea. Ikuya rested his head on his armchair and stared into space. His head was hurting and his fingers felt numb but he couldn't move. He felt a series of emotions, one after the other: guilt, sadness, embarrassment, annoyance. None of them felt more prevalent than the other.</p><p>"Here's some tea. Drink up if you want. I could make you some rice or-" </p><p>"Hiyori." He interrupted but the syllables sounded jumbled in his mouth like he was saying them underwater. He ignored the tea and when his eyes met with Hiyori's, Haru's words from earlier assaulted him, letting the tears leak out. Instantly, he felt a pair of warm arms around him and a hand caressing his hair and back. It was comforting and he let the guilt cease for a moment as he cried his heart out. His sobs were loud and uncontrolled and the sweater Hiyori was wearing would be soaking wet at any moment.</p><p>He was sad, angry, embarrassed, and disappointed but not at Haru but at himself. He didn't want to be angry at Haru. It wasn't his fault for not loving him back. Why would he? They've just reunited after years of silence and he had people like Makoto by his side. He didn't need Ikuya. He liked him enough, sure, but need? No. Nobody really needed him like that.</p><p>Wait, that wasn't true. He wasn't so deep in self-pity to not notice how Hiyori had been by his side since they've met. How he looked out for him and always put his needs first. Even when they fought, Hiyori wanted to be near him. This wasn't fair to him.  It must be the heartache talking. </p><p>"I wish I didn't love him." He whispered, still sniffing.  Hiyori's hand stilled for a second before resuming his strokes on his back. </p><p>"You know that's not true." He whispered. Ikuya couldn't see his face but his tone was soft like he was talking to an upset child. </p><p>He felt like shit and was a shitty friend for doing this to Hiyori. He had no right to impose his complicated feelings about Haru on someone who probably felt the same way about him. He started crying again, his chest heaving in and out. </p><p>"It'll be okay, Ikuya." Hiyori continued tenderly, misunderstanding his anguish. "Just let it out." Ikuya pushed himself up, wrapping his arms fully around Hiyori. If he was going to be selfish, then he might as well go all the way. He clung onto Hiyori, hugging him tightly.</p><p>"He said we'll always be friends but how can I, how can I-?" He couldn't finish the sentences, gasping with each word. He could barely breathe through his sobs but Hiyori seemed to understand.</p><p>"With time." He soothed. "You'll get over him in time." </p><p>"But what if-?"</p><p>"Ikuya, you'll love again. Trust me." Hiyori replied. All Ikuya could do was nod nonsensically.</p><p>When his sobs subsided, Hiyori gave him a tissue to wipe his nose. His eyes were red and itchy but he felt better. Not happier but lighter. When he got his baring to look, Hiyori smiled at him sadly, still rubbing circles into his back. </p><p>"Do you want to take a shower? Or eat? You might feel better." </p><p>Ikuya stared at him, confused.</p><p>"Why do you do this?" He asked sourly. </p><p>"Why do I do what?" Hiyori looked genuinely confused. It pissed Ikuya off.</p><p>"This! Take care of me? I don't deserve it." He was standing up now, backing away from the other man.</p><p>"Don't be silly. Of course you do. You're my best friend." Hiyori backed away, perplexed. He was still sitting on his couch, legs firmly on the floor. Ikuya knew he should stop now but since everything else was aired, he might as well get this off his chest, too. </p><p>"Am I really? I don't feel like I'm a good friend. Doesn't it bother you that I'm talking about Haru like this?" </p><p>Hiyori eyes widened, "Ikuya.."</p><p>"Or that you're always comforting me about something? Today it's about Haru but other days it's about swimming or my brother or some other bullshit! I never reciprocate!" </p><p>Hiyori's mouth dropped open but Ikuya didn't care. He knew he was being irrational but he didn't care.</p><p>"You saw me for one second in the elevator and immediately knew something was wrong. If it was the other way around, I probably wouldn't have noticed. Doesn't that bother you?" </p><p>Hiyori gathered his bearings, sighing:</p><p>"You're selling yourself short. I think you would notice."</p><p>"But if I didn't, wouldn't that piss you off?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Well, why not?!" He was yelling now, "I know that you're jealous of Haru! Doesn't it bother you that I told you I loved him?!"</p><p>He expected to get a rise out of Hiyori but he wasn't the type to yell or get angry. Instead, he looked at the floor, sad. He twisted his fingers. "All I want to do is help. It doesn't matter if it's about Haru or someone else."</p><p>This made Ikuya even angrier. "Do you have a hero complex or something? You feel like you have to save me every time I have a fucking problem? I never ask for it!" </p><p>"Why are you angry at me? I just wanted to comfort you!" He raised his voice, not quite yelling but not speaking normally either. </p><p>"I know!" He yelled, resigned. He slunk to the floor, ashamed of himself. "I hate that you always have to see me like this. I'm a fucking mess."</p><p>Hiyori shifted his feet, uncomfortable and miserable. "I've always known you're in love with Haru." Ikuya's head popped up in surprise. "That isn't shocking to me." </p><p>Hiyori rubbed his neck, sighing gently:</p><p>"The way you smiled and hugged him after the race, it was so obvious. I always figured you were before then but that day confirmed it. I thought it was some schoolboy crush but the way you looked at him told me everything I needed to know. " </p><p>"Hiyori."</p><p>"I did everything in my power to help you but none of it mattered. All you could think about was Haru and your Iwatobi friends and how they let you down." </p><p> "That's not true. You do matter to me." Ikuya grabbed his hand.</p><p> Hiyori ignored him. "Lately, I feel like nothing I say or do makes you happy.  You're irritated a lot of the time and I feel more like a burden than a friend. Honestly, I don't know what you want from me. I'm not Haru and I can't be a replacement for him. Even now that he's back in your life, you're still miserable. I don't want to give up but-" </p><p> "I'm sorry." He gasped, wanting to cry. He grabbed Hiyori's hand even firmer, forcing him to make eye contact. "I'm sorry that I keep on hurting you! I don't very feel capable of anything, especially friendship." </p><p> Hiyori shakes his head, still smiling sadly. "Ikuya, all I've ever wanted was to be in your life. Honest. We're always going to be friends if you let me."</p><p>"It sounds like you're breaking up with me." He laughed bitterly.</p><p> "I wouldn't say that. As I said, I don't plan on going anywhere." Hiyori griped his hand back. "But, maybe we do need some space. You do have some things to work out, you know?"</p><p> Ikuya's eyes welled up and a new batch of tears rolled down his face. Hiyori doesn't hug him this time but the small pat to the shoulder is slightly reassuring. For once, he's not wishing it was Haru's touch.</p><p> "You're heartbroken. It hurts like hell now but it'll pass, I promise." His smile was tight but genuine. </p><p> "You seem to know." </p><p>"I've had some experience." He grinned sheepishly. There was less tension in the air but Ikuya couldn't say it was comfortable either. He watched as Hiyori grabbed his bag.  </p><p> "Listen, I'm still here for you. If you need anything, call. I'll answer." Hiyori patted his shoulder weakly once more before leaving. </p><p> All Ikuya could do was whisper, </p><p>"Thank you." </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I always felt that Ikuya's crush on Haru was one-sided. Partly because Haru was juggling Makoto and Rin and poor Ikuya simply didn't fit into his life like that. Additionally, Ikuya admires him more than probably loves him, something he needs to realize on his own. I figured that it was impossible to write this without including Hiyori and how loyal he has been to Ikuya all these years. </p><p>Maybe one day they'll figure out their shit but for now, I was content with this.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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